Watching and Waiting

Saturday night I saw a shooting star. I absolutely was not looking for it. I was simply sitting outside on my back deck watching. Watching the nearly-full moon. Watching wispy clouds drift across twinkling stars. Not looking for anything in particular. Just watching the night and listening to the crickets.

And I was thinking about God. My heart was meandering around thoughts of His goodness. His faithfulness. His mercy. I was sitting quietly and waiting to see if He might speak to me. There is something very profound and inspiring about the glory of the night sky. It all makes me feel so small without feeling the least bit insignificant. And God feels so very big.

As I watched the deep night sky, letting my eyes and my heart drift across the constellations, a single bright gem streaked above the tree tops. It only lasted a second. I stammered and pointed, but of course, it was gone before I could even say: “Ijustsawashootingstarcanyoubelieveit??” How in the world was I watching in exactly the right spot at exactly the perfect moment?

I have wasted so many hours looking for things. For my reading glasses. For my husband’s keys. For the wha-cha-ma-dinger on aisle number 2 at Lowes. Of course, there have been worthy searches like looking for a special birthday gift or for the perfect greeting card. But the majority of the time, “looking for things” is downright frustrating.

I am embarrassed to admit that I have also wasted spiritual and emotional energy looking for things. Looking for that all-important miracle. Looking for that one special person to do that one special thing. Looking for God to act in a particular way upon a particular circumstance. A lot of disappointments and disillusionments have resulted from those kinds of lookings.

Don’t get me wrong. I know there is scriptural precedence for seeking and finding:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV)

But I think that sometimes I miss out. Wonder and joy and celebration gradually erode into sorrow and despair and disappointment when I allow “looking for God” to replace “watching and waiting.” I totally miss the beauty of His presence because I am too preoccupied to recognize the moment. The precious gift of His hand touching my life is sometimes missed because I was looking in the wrong place.

I wish I had a picture of that shooting star. But it simply happened too fast. However, I can share a different picture. The “Butterfly on the Thistle” picture. It’s not quite as unique as a shooting star, but I took it in a similarly rare moment.

I was sitting in the grass watching bees buzz from flower to flower in the field beyond my front yard. I really don’t know how I happened to glance at that particular thistle at that particular moment. I don’t know how the butterfly happened to be looking directly into the camera as I snapped the picture. But I do know the entire moment was born from watching and waiting. No real agenda. No ulterior motive. Just watching and waiting.

O my Strength, I watch for you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.
Psalms 59:9-10 (NIV)

I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.
Psalms 27:13-14 (NASB)

Miraculous, astounding events rarely happen when I am looking for them. But I do seem to catch one or two, from time to time, when I am watching and waiting.

Psalms 46:10-11
Lesa K. Reid